What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
