We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
