Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
