he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Randomize
