I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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