She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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