i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize