She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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