he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
