Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
