would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
