bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
