I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
