I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
and you fell through a lawn chair
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
