Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize