Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
