my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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