TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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