he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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