the condom got lost in my hair
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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