I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
