I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize