Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize