You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
