I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
