I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
