I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
