I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
