it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My pussy is not your playground.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
