Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
