I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
