and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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