Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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