I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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