He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
