i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
