Just fell off a train. Bad.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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