I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
