found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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