theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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