I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
