It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Farmville is her only friend.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
