how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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