I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
