I must be too annoying 4 u.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
