I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
