I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize