He is such a slut. More and more my type.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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