Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
