Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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