He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
