dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i can't believe i had my finger in that
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
